“Family: My Grandmother”

“Family: My Grandmother”

By: Rosemary Jasmine Rivera

            My grandmother was born Rosa Maria Henriquez. She was a strong woman with an easy temperament who was a bit bossy, but always took care of her family and friends. July 7^th 2012 at 2pm EST, she passed away. Not only was this a huge blow to my family, it was an especially huge blow to me. It made me change my way of thinking.

            It has been a full week since she has passed and I cannot get rid of the image of her death. I found her, blue in the lips and fingertips, July 5^th at 7:30am in her bedroom. I performed CPR and the paramedics came five minutes later to resuscitate her and take her to the ER. For two and a half days, I prayed with my mother, sister, and aunt that she would somehow miraculously make it. I even blamed myself for not noticing sooner that something happened to her. It was as if my heart died when she did. There was nothing I could do to make it better.

            A few days passed, my eyes swollen from crying, I could not sleep. I remember waking up every two hours and barely ate. I was so distraught and stressed, even more so because I had to go to the medical examiner’s office to identify her and had to make funeral arrangements. I wanted to give up. I just wanted it to all end, but then I remembered something my granma always told me. “Think positive and keep on going.”

            My granma always took care of me and always kept going even with her leg ulcers, her chronic asthma, and her chronic pain. She would wake up 6am in the morning each single day to take a bath, brush her teeth, get dressed, put her makeup on and say good morning to me. She never complained. She always smiled. She never let her illness affect her.

           She taught me a lot my granma. She taught me to be independent and do what I have to, to live. If it were not for her, I would not be here. It is the least I can do to honor her memory to keep going, even if it feels hopeless. I can say from first hand experience, it does get better. Even though her death is still fresh in my memory, I have accepted the loss and am beginning to move on. I still have a long way to go, but I know that if I take even just one-step a day, a tiny or big step, to making my life better and meeting my life goals, that is one day not wasted, one day well spent.

            I want to make my life better not just for myself, but for my family. I want to pursue my passions and go for what I want and desire. I know now what death is like and what is left behind and I want to make sure I leave something that lasts. I want to make the memory of her last. I want to give my children, if I ever have any, a life worth living by instilling in them the same values my granma instilled in me. She was a second mother to a friend, a confidant, my savior, and most of all she was my light. Even though that light has faded, it will never leave me. It will brighten my darkest of moments.

            I love you granma, always and forever. I will remember your dyed, jet-black short hair, your big brown eyes, and your warm smile. “Viva Mexico” she would say at the Mexican festival in the nursing home. “Be a realist, but be open and positive”. “Nunca déjà de pensar en ti misma.” Abuela I love you.